


don't mind

by speakingincode



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, EnnoTana Week 2018, Ennoshita-centric, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Tanaka also has it bad, day 3: kiss, ennoshita has it bad, unfortunately they are both stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 19:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speakingincode/pseuds/speakingincode
Summary: Tanaka is acting weird, maybe the kind of weird only Ennoshita would notice. Not because he knows Tanaka better than anyone or anything, but more like. He's acting weird only to Ennoshita. Which is.He doesn't know if he did anything, but if he did something, Tanaka's the kind of guy who would call him out for it right there, none of this indirect stuff. None of the - avoiding looking at him, or clipped conversation only when it's completely impossible to get out of, or putting your undershirt on inside out because if you take any longer to get changed you'll be in a roomalonewithEnnoshita, which is the worst thing ever, apparently.Okay, so maybe Ennoshita's a little bitter.Or: Tanaka's got a crush. Ennoshita will die before he makes it easy for him.





	don't mind

**Author's Note:**

> this is for day 3 of ennotana week, and it is late. i was going to post this at 1 am edt last night but it was Bad at 1 am edt last night and i decided - if you're gonna be late, might as well commit to it :') also time is a construct and i consider august third more of a [state of mind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgPGvquOF0c).
> 
> there's some very brief implied one-sided asanoya (though not necessarily one-sided, just like, one character has a crush), so watch out for that if you're not into it.
> 
> hope you guys enjoy this! ennoshita is my son now.

They're alone in the clubroom when it happens, but it isn't like - weird. Or, that isn't what's weird about it. 

Tanaka's usually the last one out. He gets distracted while he's changing, rambling on about girls or practice or whatever, and Chikara waits up for him, which is. He wouldn't admit that to anyone. It's just - leaving someone like Tanaka alone in a room, maybe while he's on one of his dumb tangents, it seems kind of wasteful and - sad, so.

But that's not really how it is now. Tanaka is acting weird, maybe the kind of weird only Chikara would notice. Not because, like, he knows Tanaka better than anyone or anything (that would probably be Noya, 'cause Chikara's pretty sure they're both tuned into a channel absolutely no one else has access to), but more like. He's acting weird  _only_  to Chikara. Which is.

He doesn't know if he  _did_  anything, but if he did something, Tanaka's the kind of guy who would call him out for it right there, none of this indirect stuff. None of the - avoiding looking at him, or clipped conversation only when it's completely impossible to get out of, or putting your undershirt on inside out because if you take any longer to get changed you'll be in a room  _alone_  with  _Ennoshita_ , which is the worst thing ever, apparently. 

Okay, so maybe Chikara's a little bitter.

It's just - Tanaka is stupid(smarter than people think he is, but still, like, _stupid_ ), which Chikara knows, and it's endearing,  _sometimes_ , annoying, always, but like. Watching Tanaka, the way he's suddenly gone silent after Noya left the room telling him to hurry up. How he's standing around awkwardly, with the freaking tag hanging off the wrong side of his shirt, it's ridiculous. This is  _Tanaka._  

Chikara wants to smack him upside the head, yell something like "What's  _wrong_  with you?" but maybe less harsh. He'd probably do it if Tanaka was normal, 'cause normal Tanaka could brush that off in a second, but the person in front of him isn't normal Tanaka. Actually, Chikara's starting to wonder if the person in front of him is Tanaka at all.

"Oi, Tanaka-baka, your shirt's inside out," Chikara finally says, because if he keeps thinking this hard he might really whack him out of nowhere. Tanaka actually turns to look at him, and Chikara guesses he's at the point where he has to count that as a win, but Tanaka doesn't do what he usually does, doesn't make some loud comment about how he's setting the new fashion or - something, Chikara doesn't know. Instead, Tanaka just smiles awkwardly, feels around the back of his collar, and - Chikara swears -  _blushes_ , this unmistakable tinge of pink behind his cheeks that Chikara wishes he imagined.

 _Honestly_.

Who the hell is this.

"Ah, thanks," Tanaka says, distracting Chikara from his attempt to comprehend the concept of Ryuunosuke Tanaka being able to feel shame, which is probably for the best since it's an impossible task anyway. His voice isn't that quiet but it's way too quiet for  _Tanaka._  Chikara's about to think too hard about that, but then he catches a sliver of stomach as Tanaka lifts up his shirt and suddenly he's acutely aware of the weird atmosphere in the room and - he glances away.

He doesn't move away or anything. They're standing kind of close, which is. Chikara finished changing a while ago, and back when everyone was here and Tanaka was still talking Chikara thought that maybe if he stood a little closer Tanaka would  _look_  at him, and that's embarrassing and it also didn't really work, except. Tanaka is looking at him now. 

But everything's still weird, and it's not like - about  _him_. He just wants Tanaka to go back to normal, to stop acting like they're not - friends, or something. Stop acting weird like this, anyway. Chikara knows they're not the closest, that if you grouped the second years together it'd be Tanaka with Noya and him with Narita and Kinoshita, but they're still close, and they're still friends. Chikara's not the kind of anxious to get insecure about that stuff, but when Tanaka's like this, it's hard not to be.

Though it is less being insecure about his friendship and more like. Concerned that Tanaka's been abducted by aliens or something.

Only around him, but. Still.

Chikara glances back, watches Tanaka tug at his now-fixed undershirt as he sneaks glances at him from the corner of his eye. He must have looked away when Chikara did, which is weird, but it's also kind of weird to - look at someone by the lockers, so.

Tanaka's expression is blank, or maybe indecipherable, which is. It's not really a word Chikara thought he'd ever use to describe  _Tanaka_ , the way he immediately says whatever comes to mind. It rubs him the wrong way, not being able to read Tanaka's expression, more than anything else rubbed him the wrong way before.

"What's-" Chikara starts to ask, but he remembers "What's wrong with you?" is too harsh the way smacking him in the head is, and he corrects it to, "Are you okay?" 

Less harsh, but kind of risky. He and Tanaka don't really talk like this, just joke around until the other person is laughing. It's not weird to show concern for a friend, but like. Maybe it is.

Tanaka looks at Chikara when he starts talking, eyes sometimes darting away like he doesn't  _want_  to be looking at him, but he is, in this weird heavy gaze Chikara's never felt from him before. Like Tanaka's not even in the room but at the same time he's hyper-aware of Chikara in front of him.

Tanaka is quiet for - not a long time, but a  _while_ , enough for Chikara to decide that he needs to talk to someone about this. It was kind of embarrassing before, the way he was normal around everyone else and Chikara would have to say something like "but he's weird around  _me_ " but this is really. Past that.

He's trying to imagine how the conversation would go with Narita and Kinoshita, and then Noya if worse came to worst, but Tanaka says, "I'm-" and Chikara looks up, and then-

They're really  _close_  to each other, right? Like, literally. And Chikara knows; he was thinking about it before and Tanaka's been staring holes into him this entire time, but their eyes meet, and Tanaka leans -  _forward_ , for some reason, still looking at him weird, and then -

Tanaka's chapped lips press against Chikara's left cheek, just by his nose. Chikara is frozen, has no idea what's going on, and then Tanaka backs up and blushes,  _again_ , and then pulls on the sleeves of his button-down, slings his not-completely-zipped bag over his shoulder, and zooms out of the room, shirt hanging open.

And Chikara can chase right after him, because he's the one who was waiting for him, but like - Tanaka just kissed him on the  _cheek_ , like he's his freaking - little cousin, or something, and he needs a second to process that, and also that he almost definitely has to talk to someone about this because.

What the hell.

* * *

It shouldn't be getting to Chikara this much. Which is - yeah. When the other guys start flipping out over how a game turned out, or a cute girl, or something stupid, it's Chikara who tells them to get themselves together. He's the guy who keeps them in check. He's the guy who sits back and - notices. That's why Tanaka nominated him for captain.

(Back when they were on  _speaking terms_ , Chikara wants to think bitterly, but he remembers that they were talking a second ago and Tanaka kissed him on the cheek and that is -  worse, so.)

Thing is, with stuff like that, Tanaka and everyone, they give him too much credit. It's not hard to  _notice_  when it's literally the only thing you have to do during a three-set volleyball game, and about keeping them in check, it's not that he  _doesn't_ , but a pretty big chunk of why they think of him that way is almost definitely just how his face looks, so. Yeah.

It's not that Chikara's, like, underselling himself. He is  _good_ at volleyball, at least better than most people, and he believes- he  _knows_  he is. He knows he's got it in him to be regular and he's gonna work hard as hell to make everyone realize he does, but it's kind of.

Like, everyone on Karasuno is super supportive. More so than any friend group he had before them,  _way_  more so than his middle school volleyball team, and it's not even like they weren't supportive, just that the guys on Karasuno are way too much, sometimes. Most of the time. So it's important to be realistic, between all of that stuff. Find the middle ground. Plus, it's better to underestimate yourself and practice too hard than to overestimate yourself and not practice enough, so.

Anyway.

Everything with Tanaka shouldn't be getting to him. Even without all the stuff about who Chikara's supposed to be, it's also like - they're teenagers, and whatever everyone always tries to tell them about puberty. At their age, they're allowed to be weird. Even if they weren't their age. Plus, Chikara knows he was almost there, a couple of times. It's just.

Tanaka is  _Tanaka_.

And that's a shitty explanation, but it's like-

Okay, back in their first year, when Chikara quit volleyball and wasn't as close to Tanaka as he is now. Or- not that that's even- Anyway. He'd only known Tanaka for a few months then, which maybe wasn't that important because Chikara already knew him in the way mattered.

Because -  _that_  is Tanaka. He'd only known him a couple months then, he knows him now a year and change, but right now or before, it wouldn't even make a difference if he was someone he only knew a conversation. And it's not because Tanaka's shallow, because he isn't, the way he falls in love in half a second notwithstanding. 

More like - Tanaka is the type of person who makes you feel like you're someone he's known his whole life after one conversation.  _During_  one conversation. Like, whether you're his best friend, or a stranger, or the vice principal, Tanaka's not going to change the way he acts. He never lets anything stop him from being himself. Because he's  _Tanaka_. It's a no-brainer.

Chikara thinks about that sometimes. Not that he pretends to be someone he's not; he mostly keeps the way he feels about benchwarming to himself, other than the comments he makes about how everyone better watch out because he's not staying on the sidelines forever, but that stuff isn't really - anything. Nowhere near enough for him to count it as some invisible chip on his shoulder.

At practice, he uses it to fire himself up, and out of practice, even at games, it doesn't - tear at him. Moving over after Asahi and Noya came back, thinking about how he's not a regular, that stuff is just matter of fact.  

They lost the practice match against Seijoh, so.

Anyway, so that's what it is. Tanaka is always unabashedly Tanaka, for better or for worse, and Chikara has definitely been around for the times it's been for worse, but like. That's just how he is. That's Tanaka. It's how he should be.

And - it  _is_  that, but also what he was saying before, about that time he quit volleyball with Narita and Kinoshita. It was awful. And that's - obvious, considering how all three of them are back in club now, but it was  _awful._  

Like - the minute after you turn off a radio that's playing too loud, when there's this ringing in your ears that kind of hurts because your brain can't cope with total silence anymore. The kind of quiet that stings.

Back then, there was this way he could  _feel_  nothing that was heavy, and it was worse because it also felt like - isn't that what you wanted? Nothing? Before everything was too much, and now it's too little? Or is even  _nothing_  too much for you?

So that was terrible - all the time he spent bored alone in his house, his fake-casual afterschool hangouts with Narita and Kinoshita, ducking out of hallways whenever he saw anyone from the team. That was terrible. But there was something else then, too, and that was Tanaka.

And - it's embarrassing and probably way too dramatic to think about Tanaka like that. The sole ray of light shooting through the - rainclouds, or something. But, like, even though he wouldn't admit it to him, or anyone, he  _was_.

Tanaka was the same as everybody else, back then. (Well, not Daichi, because Chikara was scared of Daichi.) Same as Noya, as Asahi, as Suga; when Chikara saw him, he ducked out of the hallway. The other guys - except maybe Noya, who Chikara thinks was just always too distracted to notice - would look away when they saw him avoid meeting their eyes, would let him get away without doing anything.

Tanaka chased him down.

And it wasn't like they were  _running_ (which is good because the vice principal hated Tanaka enough), it was just - the second he noticed him in the room, Tanaka would wave and yell, "Oi, Ennoshita!" and Chikara couldn't bring himself to be rude enough to just - leave. Especially after everyone in the hallway heard him.

And it was being forced into a conversation, but it was still  _good_. 'Cause Tanaka didn't chase him down to - confront him about volleyball or anything, he just chased him down because he was Tanaka and he wanted to talk. And it was so stupid and normal, the stuff he said - about girls, how hard class is, the sleepy look on Chikara's face, somehow never volleyball or the way he hadn't seen him at practice - but it wasn't  _nothing_. For once.

Another thing, too. After he stood in front of his team, asking if they could come back, and they reluctantly said yes. When Narita and Kinoshita had already shuffled away but Chikara still couldn't  _move._  Because it was like - like they said it was okay, but it really wasn't, and they all knew it wasn't, and he shouldn't have been there, shouldn't have come back, shouldn't have-

Like, almost having a breakdown in the middle of gym, and then - this hand on his head, ruffling his hair too harshly, Tanaka's laughter, and "Hey, haven't you rested enough? Let's play!"

See, it's like, the thing they all give Chikara credit for - keeping the them in check, keeping them cool-headed and sane when they need to be - maybe he's done it a couple times, but it's not  _his_  thing. It's Tanaka's. Even if he's loud, and gets worked up all the time, it's  _Tanaka_  who keeps them steady, who keeps them together.

Tanaka doesn't realize it; Chikara doubts he even realizes half the stuff he does. All of is just - it's just  _him_ , doing what makes sense to him. Being himself.

And that's the point, right? Tanaka being Tanaka. And it's not like Tanaka's not allowed to change or anything, but when Chikara thinks about the time he quit in first year, or when they goof off during practice, or how it feels when Tanaka casually compliments him the way he does with everyone, it's just.

Not having that anymore would be pretty awful.

* * *

"Is it weird to kiss one of your friends on the cheek?" Chikara asks and immediately regrets it. It's a stupid question; it  _is_  weird, and he  _knows_  it is, it's just. He worded it wrong. Maybe he should have said something like "Is it weird if one of your friends kisses you on the cheek?" but that's maybe a little too close to home.

He's sitting on a bench with Narita and Kinoshita. After the whole clubroom thing, he convinced them to stop by some random soft-serve place 'cause he really needed to talk to  _someone_ , but he ended up spending all the time they spend eating just listening to them banter on about whatever, which is. It's just a pretty weird topic to bring up, and bringing it up means acknowledging it, and like - he finally has. But he's pretty sure he said the wrong thing.

Kinoshita squints at him, which. Yeah. "Are you going to?" he asks, scooting away from him on the bench they're sitting on, right into Narita, who nudges him with his elbow. 

"I'm not," Chikara grumbles, but honestly, he's a little offended. Not that he's ever thought about it, and he did flip after Tanaka did it to him, but that was different. It wasn't the kiss, anyway, it was just  _Tanaka_ , and Chikara's not Tanaka. Plus him and Narita are like - best friends, and he's not. It's not  _that_ gross.

"It's alright. I'd let you if you really want to. You do stuff for us all the time," Narita says, the kind of smile on his face that makes Chikara think of Buddha. "Kind of weird you brought it up like that. But it's cool you asked."

Kinoshita turns to look at Narita and then looks back at Chikara, his mouth slightly curved into a weird frown. He scoots back over to where he was before. "Yeah, you're right. Ha, I was just joking before, mostly. It's not  _that_  weird. If it was you or Narita, I guess it'd be fine."

"I don't want to kiss you," Narita immediately chimes in, and Kinoshita elbows him in the stomach.

"Hey, I was being nice," Kinoshita says and Narita shoves him, which Kinoshita pays back in kind. Usually Chikara would tell them to stop acting like kids, but he doesn't feel like it today, especially after that entire exchange, so he waits until they get it out of their system, and then - they look at him expectantly.

Yeah. "I'm not going to kiss either of you," Chikara says. "It was just a question."

"Sure you can resist this?" Kinoshita says, gesturing to himself, and Narita makes a face and nudges him again, but the only thing Kinoshita does is laugh. When Chikara doesn't answer, he scrunches his face in thought. "Well, I guess if it's not us, it'd probably be a little weird. Though... I would kiss Yachi on the cheek."

"You've talked to her twice," Narita points out. "And that's generous."

"I'm just saying I  _would_ ," Kinoshita clarifies, sitting up a little straighter. "If it was okay. You wouldn't?"

Narita tilts his head and looks up for a second and then says, "I guess I probably would." He bites his lip, like he's thinking hard. "If you put it like that, I'd kiss Hinata on the cheek, too. Maybe Yamaguchi. He seems like a nice kid when Tsukishima's not around. The other day he helped me clean up the gym."

"Aw, that's cute," Kinoshita says, a little dryly but not full-on sarcasm. He laughs. "I wouldn't, though. He's taller than me, so it'd be weird. And I think he's the kind of guy who gets stressed out easily."

"You could say the same thing about Yachi, too." Narita leans back in his seat, silent a second, and then asks, "Suga?"

"I feel like Suga would kiss  _me_  on the cheek."

"You're right."

"What about Tanaka?" Chikara finally says, and it's like - listen.

Chikara shouldn't have brought the whole thing up, at least not the way he did, and the whole conversation has been generally pretty unhelpful to what he started it for, which is. He feels a little like maybe Kinoshita and Narita goof off too much for him to have come them for serious advice. But if that's true, then thinking about going to Noya was probably wishful thinking.

(That's kind of unfair. If he wasn't indirect about it, they'd probably try to help him. They're good guys. It's just.)

But even if it's been pretty useless, the way they've been talking got Chikara thinking. He knows they're half talking out of their asses just to make fun of him, but it is pretty casual, and like. If they're calm about this, maybe it isn't that weird. Kinoshita and Narita aren't sticks in the mud, but Tanaka's standard for normal probably blows theirs out of the water. Considering how he always seems to be somewhere between oblivious and too distracted to care.

Chikara's thinking about this when he hears Kinoshita ask, "You wanna kiss Tanaka, Ennoshita?"

"On the cheek," Narita pipes in, but the way both of them are talking is -  _different_ , and that's.

It's like the whole conversation changed, the nudging and laughing totally gone, just like - straight faces and understanding tones. And that's ridiculous, because like - Chikara doesn't worry about that stuff, being bad at hiding how he feels or what he means or whatever. People are usually bad about picking that stuff up with him, even if he's known them his whole life. He doesn't hold that against them or anything, it's just how it is, but why isn't it how it is now?

Thinking back on it, sometimes they get kind of weird about Tanaka, but honestly, he just kind of feels like everyone does. 

"Oh, shit, is that why you asked?" Kinoshita says, and Chikara realizes he never answered. "It's alright, if like. You want to. We were messing around, I mean-"

"Tanaka would probably let you. I don't think he thinks that hard about that stuff, and you seem like the kind of person who would," Narita says, face pleasant and neutral. Buddha, Chikara thinks.

"Eh?"

"Like Suga. You know. I wouldn't feel weird about it at all," Kinoshita says, and then he bites the inside of his cheek. "Tanaka is pretty oblivious, though, so like. You could get away with it, but you'd get away with it. It wouldn't really - mean anything. You know?" Kinoshita reaches over to put his hand on Chikara's shoulder, leaning on him slightly. "Whatever you do, though, it's alright."

"I don't want to kiss him."

"Oh," Kinoshita says. He slaps him on the shoulder, too hard. "Uh. That's alright, too, then, I guess."

But Kinoshita's never been good at lying, not the effortless way Chikara is, and Kinoshita doesn't believe him.

* * *

So, yeah, there's an obvious answer.

Occam's razor, right? Blushing, kissing him on the cheek, the way he's weird around  _only_  him - They're not really things people do when they're mad at someone, or depressed. 

Chikara isn't Noya, how he somehow misses the way Asahi looks at him between all the time he's spending tackling him or calling out his name or - quitting volleyball until he comes back, which is. That one was way too much. Chikara really feels for the guy sometimes.

But, like, it's not him. He's not Noya and Tanaka's not Asahi (which is kind of unsettling to imagine) and you can't  _Occam's razor_  Tanaka. Thinking you can is like- It's like the way he felt about Tanaka before he and Kinoshita and Narita quit. Like he was just this overly-friendly loud guy who was way more passionate about volleyball than the club called for. 

And Chikara  _liked_  him, and they were friends, but that was still all he was to him. Just the loud guy. Sometimes a little stressful, but good for a laugh, good for easy conversation. And, like, it's not that all that stuff isn't true, but he's also. More than that. The kind of person you don't  _really_  appreciate until, like. You do.

Or - Okay. If you're going to Occam's razor Tanaka on this, then you at least have to account for the fact that it's Tanaka, like. Who is Tanaka secretly harboring a crush on, Chikara or the girl he runs over to whenever she enters a room? The girl he gushes on about to literally anyone who can hear him. Chikara's seen him fall to his knees and yell "I love you, Kiyoko-senpai!" while Shimizu was there.

Like, if Chikara threw out everything he knew about Tanaka and about himself, then maybe he'd buy that Tanaka had a crush on him, but it's just so  _weird_  to think about, that kind of thing at all, and like - the guy that bugs him all the time about how he wants a girlfriend and how Shimizu, like, hangs the stars in the sky has a crush on  _him_? 

And honestly, like. Even if that was true - and it's not - he wouldn't  _want_  it to be. Which is like, not because Tanaka's a bad guy or anything, but Shimizu doesn't like Tanaka back. And that's probably for a lot of reasons - she doesn't know him that well, thinks he's weird, doesn't like guys like him - but even though most of that stuff doesn't go for Chikara, if he was Shimizu, he wouldn't like him back either.

Tanaka is over-the-top, which is funny when you're his friend, but when he's just some random guy who yells about how he's in love with you the second he sees you, it's kind of weird. Shimizu's probably used to it, the way she takes it in stride, and Tanaka is the type of guy to back off if she asked and she hasn't yet, but like. Aside from all that stuff. 

She's never  _really_  gonna know Tanaka, the way he is when he isn't like, worshiping the ground you walk on. Like - when he ribs you about how you missed an obvious block in three-on-three because you were distracted but smacks you on the back while he says it so you know he's joking. Or when you're at his house and he's calling you a nerd but there's a smile on his face and the next minute he's calling you sensei. Or when he nominates you for captain, serious for once, and you know it isn't because he feels bad for you, or he's joking, it's just. He just thinks you're good enough to be captain.

Shimizu doesn't dislike Tanaka, which is. She's one of the only people Chikara knows who has a real reason to. But she'd talked to him about it once, when they were both cleaning up after practice. He'd made some comment about how annoying he was and she laughed and said something about how at least he was energetic, in this way where it was like - clear she thinks he's funny, more than weird or stupid or anything.

And like - he is funny, and Tanaka's probably done those weirdly thoughtful things he does sometimes for her, too, but. It doesn't change the fact that they're not close. That Shimizu just thinks he's funny.

And okay, Chikara's no Shimizu, and he doubts Tanaka's ever going to treat him the way he treats her. But if he accepts this - that Tanaka's got a thing for him and it's why he's acting so weird, he doesn't  _want_  it. He doesn't want Tanaka blushing and tripping over his words and weirdly self-conscious around him. Even if it means he's, like, in love with him or something. That kind of trade isn't worth it.

He just wants Tanaka.

* * *

Tanaka's already there when Chikara gets to morning practice. He's got Hinata in a headlock, Kageyama trailing behind him the way he always is when there's no one around telling him what to do. Yachi's standing a little off from them, like maybe they were all talking before but she lost hold of it and now she's about to have an aneurysm.

Chikara turns away to find Narita and Kinoshita, 'cause this is normal for practice anyway and they can handle themselves, but then he hears someone call his name and he looks back, almost thinking he's imaging things, which is. Pretty overdramatic, but that doesn't really matter because he's not.

Tanaka's looking straight at him, Hinata fallen out of his grip and into Kageyama, who's scowling and muttering at him. There's a look on his face that's almost a smile, that's definitely - happy to see him, just playing angry at Hinata or something. 

"Come over here, you're on my team for three-on-three! This shorty thinks he's better than us!"

"Eh, Tanaka-senpai, I was joking," Hinata whines, and Kageyama's still scowling. 

Tanaka's probably overreacting to something, but that's normal, and that's it, that it's like -  _normal_. Chikara walks over, complains, "Calm down, Tanaka. It's too early."

"Not you, too," Tanaka says, and he wonders who he's talking about - probably Yachi. She's off to the side with Shimizu, now, probably getting talked down. "He thinks he's gonna beat me for ace next year! I'm not gonna take that lying down. You shouldn't, either."

Hinata definitely didn't say anything about him, but it's not really. The ace thing is - weird. Chikara ribs him all the time about how he's gonna take his spot as regular, but Tanaka usually just starts laughing or going on about how he'd like to see him try or something. Sometimes he calls him stuff like mean, and he has put him in a headlock, but it never gets so bad that he starts - challenging him to matches.

Chikara wonders if Tanaka actually feels threatened, which is. Chikara is good at volleyball, Tanaka always calls him over to be on his team and says things to him, but like. This is  _Hinata_. So it is like, different. Seeing Hinata's reflexes the first time blew Chikara away, so if Tanaka feels that way it's not really - an insult.

The alternative is that Tanaka's acting weird because of other reasons - like Chikara being in the room, and what happened yesterday - and. Chikara really doesn't prefer that.

"Ehhh..." Hinata whines again, and then he turns around. "Hey, Kageyama, you're on my team!"

"I don't want you dumbasses wasting the net on your three-on-three," Kageyama says, arms crossed and nose turned up.

Hinata pulls a face. "Tell Tanaka that!"

"Yeah," Tanaka says, "tell Tanaka that, Kageyama." 

Kageyama opens his mouth and Tanaka puts him in a headlock. His fist is raised above Kageyama's scalp, probably in some plan to noogie Kageyama into submission, but Chikara tugs on Tanaka's sleeve. "Tanaka, if Daichi sees you doing that, you'll get in trouble."

Tanaka lets go of Kageyama the second Chikara touches him, like a jolt, and that's. It's not normal, but if it stops Tanaka from harrassing the first years, he's not gonna think too hard about it. "Uh, yeah," Tanaka says, his voice kind of weird, but.

"You're on my team, right, Kageyama?" Hinata asks after Kageyama's all brushed off and standing. 

Kageyama fixes him with the same look he always gives him and says, "Idiot." And then: "Fine."

"Alright, first years against second years!" Tanaka says, more excited than weird over-the-top angry, and he looks a little bit more like himself, maybe. "We're gonna kick your ass! Right, Ennoshita?"

And like - Tanaka's been a little weird all morning, and this game is a result of him being a little weird, and Chikara shouldn't be encouraging him, it's just. A little weird is a lot less than a lot weird, weird enough to make Chikara think Tanaka was mad at him, weird enough to make Chikara think Tanaka was abducted by aliens.

And when Tanaka said that last part, he turned around and looked at Chikara, this -  _grin_  on his face, and it's still there, and it's just.  _Tanaka_. 

And Chikara says, "Yeah."

* * *

Things stay the same after that, which is. Chikara feels a lot of the weird knots in his chest untie and it's  _good_.

They win that game (which makes Chikara feel bad about how unbalanced the set-up kind of was, like - first years versus second years - but he and Tanaka and Noya had to deal with that freak quick so he doesn't feel  _that_  bad) and Tanaka tells Chikara he was cool today when they're leaving the clubroom and if his cheeks tint pink right before he turns away Chikara  _doesn't_  notice.

At lunch Narita asks him if he kissed Tanaka yet and Kinoshita shoves him in the stomach and Chikara also does that, but other than that it's like yesterday didn't happen. When he sees him at practice again, Tanaka treats him like he always does - getting him roped into all the stupid stuff he gets into, complaining when Chikara says something too dry, all of it.

When they're the last two people in the clubroom, Tanaka's still talking, and when they leave, nothing weird's happened. Nothing that he has to pull Narita and Kinoshita aside about.

And Chikara appreciates it. The whole thing is - really Tanaka, right? He wonders if he picked up on how Chikara was feeling or if it was just some, like, Tanaka thing, that he subconsciously picked up on what was irritating Chikara and fixed it. To make him feel better. Like that time when he quit. And that's what Chikara wanted, so.

It's good. Everything's the way it was before.

It is.

* * *

 "I can't believe they ditched us," Chikara says.

Tanaka grins as he looks ahead, just slightly. "Eh, Noya told me. He got Asahi to buy him okonomiyaki. He did him a favor or won a bet, I dunno. Forgot already. Can't believe Narita and Kinoshita ditched you, though!"

Chikara moves to dodge the elbow that usually come with comments like that, but it doesn't come. He wrinkles his nose.

Tanaka's just joking, but Chikara doesn't have an answer. Noya really was more thoughtful than Narita and Kinoshita, huh.

Okay, like - that's a little unfair. Chikara hung back the way he always did and Tanaka  _really_  got into a story about how Daichi almost killed him and Noya once.  _Man, you're lucky you never got him_ pissed _, Ennoshita! I had nightmares a month after that!_

And that was like - probably an exaggeration, and Chikara could probably disagree with that first part, too, but when Tanaka gets into a story and you have to be somewhere, you don't really ask questions. He gets distracted pretty easily, and his stories are long enough.

Chikara did remind him to actually change a couple times, which eventually worked, considering that he's in his button-down, but that it isn't tucked in right, so. Kind of a win and a loss.

This is a little - much, though. Other than the ten, fifteen minutes max they spend in the club room, they haven't been alone together since that time Tanaka kissed him on the cheek and sent him spiraling. And it wasn't - super-normal before, just getting food sometimes or studying or the one time he found out he hadn't seen his favorite samurai movie and he made him watch the whole series, but. Chikara noticed.

Still, like, it's just a walk home. Plus, that was like a week ago and Tanaka's not weird anymore, most of the time, the dumb story about Daichi being proof of that, so.

"Yeah," Chikara admits. "Noya likes okonomiyaki? He never mentioned it." Which isn't that big of a thing, but he likes it enough to bully Asahi for it.

Tanaka shrugs. "I guess so."

"Well, he likes it more than he likes you," Chikara says, smiling just slightly. He leans over and elbows Tanaka's shoulder, and he freezes a second, which is. In a second he starts walking again.

Tanaka frowns exaggeratedly. "Ennoshita, you're so mean," he whines, making a show of rubbing his arm, and then getting distracted. He stretches. "Hey, I'm hungry. Let's stop by somewhere, alright?"

"Yeah, okay." He's not that hungry, but it doesn't really matter. 

They end up stopping at a 1-Eleven, and Chikara lets Tanaka bully him into getting something. Tanaka doesn't say anything while he eats, but it's not weird, just. Chikara guesses he really was hungry. 

When they're finished and standing outside, Tanaka scrunches his nose and says, "I wanna get something," and then leaves Chikara by the door. A minute later, he comes out again, unwrapping ice cream he bought out of the fridge and breaking it. "Hey, half this with me," he says, holding out a stick to him.

It's one of those weird blue flavors Chikara's never really understood, raspberry or soda or something, but he takes it. "Thanks," he says, and Tanaka grins.

"You have to eat well if you're gonna take my spot as regular, right?" he says. "Also, I wasn't hungry enough to eat the whole thing."

Chikara feels himself smile, shoves Tanaka, and he barely freezes this time. "I didn't know there was an end to that bottomless stomach."

"Hey, I got you ice cream, you know!" he play-complains, and then he forgets himself and laughs, and it's.

Tanaka's tongue is blue, is Chikara's first thought. He did get him ice cream, and Chikara did tease him, and for some reason, Chikara's thinking about the time Narita said he could get away with kissing him on the cheek.

And rationally, that isn't even like, remotely true. Tanaka stopped touching Chikara a week ago, which he would barely notice with anyone else, but it's  _Tanaka._  When that like - arm that's perpetually around your shoulder or smacking you on the back or messing up your hair to piss you off is gone, it's. You feel it.

But Tanaka  _laughed_ , and it isn't like he stopped laughing in front of him, but - Tanaka  _laughed_  and his tongue is blue and the sun is setting and they're alone and. Chikara leans over and presses his lips to Tanaka's cheek.

And then it's - Chikara just did that, and okay, Tanaka did it to him, he's got no right to think it's weird, but also he just  _did_  that - and then Tanaka smiles, again, wide, something bright in his eyes. For a second Chikara thinks he got away with it, but then Tanaka leans forward and - kisses him.

It's  _good_ is the first thing he thinks, because from the way he talks this is Tanaka's first kiss but it's nice, but. He didn't want this to happen, like a week ago, and it was giving him  _anxiety_  and that's so weird now, because it's  _good_ , Chikara's pretty sure, but also he was - having anxiety, right? And there was a reason for it. Right? And then Tanaka mouth isn't on his anymore.

Chikara looks, and he's smiling, but then he meets his eyes and he sees something, and he says, "Shit." And then Chikara doesn't reply, and Tanaka says, "Sorry."

And then Tanaka mumbles something about forgetting something and turns around the way they came.

* * *

They're in the club room, Tanaka won't meet his eyes, and Chikara doesn't know what to say.

Afternoon practice is over and Tanaka's been back to being weird all day, which is funny because it's like kissing Tanaka on the cheek canceled out the time Tanaka kissed his cheek, but it's also like. Awful. Because Tanaka is his friend.

Chikara's been sitting down and fumbling with his bag, too nervous to go over and stand near him like he did the first time, but. Tanaka's got his pants and undershirt on - the right way - and if he doesn't do something now, he doesn't know if he'll ever do it.

"So you. Like me," Chikara says, and maybe he could've started this conversation better..

Tanaka turns to look at him and Chikara gets nervous he might run away, but he just looks down. "Yeah. Sorry I kissed you." His voice is steady now, not nervous anymore. Tanaka, Chikara thinks, but also like - it isn't. That's kind of the whole point, he's been avoiding him, Chikara hates it, but. Tanaka, maybe.

"It's fine," Chikara says, too fast, and he's feeling like he's pulling teeth. "The reason you've been weird lately, it's... It's me?"

Tanaka doesn't look up. "Yeah. Sorry."

His voice is still steady, but his face is like - a sad puppy, and it's just. Chikara doesn't know. Because Tanaka's been weird, and it's been stressing him out, and it was  _him_ , and like. Tanaka is  _apologizing_  to him for that. And part of Chikara is like - after how crazy Chikara's gone the past few week, he deserves an apology, but also like. This is  _wrong_.

Chikara just wants him to be  _normal_. To be Tanaka. And Tanaka's... apologizing for not being Tanaka. Which is also wrong.

Normal Tanaka would say something like,  _I've been weird? I haven't been weird!_  or  _You've been weird_ or  _You call that weird? One time me and Noya..._  Or - anything except this.

"You don't need to-" Chikara starts to say, and then stops. "It's just. I don't really- get it. It's me. I don't know why you'd get so weird. You're  _Tanaka_."

Tanaka looks up then, and Chikara can feel his eyes on him. "I'm Tanaka," he repeats, almost a question. Chikara glances, just a second, and the defeated look on his face has cleared, but like. He just doesn't get it.

"No, it's- You're  _always_  Tanaka. You don't get- nervous, or weird, or anything, ever. Like a rock," Chikara says. "And it's just  _me_."

"I'm always Tanaka," Tanaka repeats again, and Chikara kind of wants him to shut up until he can contribute to the conversation because he's  _really_ saying something here, but then Tanaka continues, "What the hell does that mean?"

It's not - mean, the way he's saying it, like he's mad or making fun of him or anything. It's just a question, and. "Like - when we lose a game, or you mess up, or I - quit club, you never. You're always - being Tanaka. Saying something stupid, grinning that way you do, smacking people on the back. You're always there, being you," Chikara says, and something in the back of his head is saying he's saying too much but Tanaka  _kissed_  him and. "Except for now. Over  _me_. And it's - just me."

Tanaka walks over and sits next to him, which is. Better than him running away, but Chikara doesn't want to look at him. "Ennoshita, you don't like me back, right?" he asks, and.

"What?"

"Can I kiss you?" Tanaka asks, just totally moving forward from the last question, and that's a little - assumptive. Maybe he didn't really get what Chikara was saying, which is weird because Tanaka is stupid, but not like that. But even if he does get it, what the hell can you even do if someone's telling you you're being weird.

Chikara finally turns to face him, thinks about finding a different way to put what he said because it does feel like he wasn't really listening, and  _that_  makes sense, because Tanaka. But when their eyes meet, it's - they're shining, and Chikara doesn't want it to go away, and he nods.

The kiss only lasts a second, but Tanaka is  _smiling_  now, and he doesn't stop this time.

"You're really weird, Ennoshita," he says. "You're always scolding me for something or making fun of me, and then you - say stuff like that." He laughs. "It's not 'just you.' I  _like_  you."

I like you. That's- It's really. Chikara doesn't know. Just, Tanaka said he likes him, and maybe he thinks he does, but Tanaka doesn't act like that when he likes someone. Tanaka doesn't-

"I don't say things I don't mean," Tanaka says, and then he pauses. "On the way back from our last practice match, you fell asleep on my shoulder. Noya always does that, but you-" Tanaka bites his lip. "No, it's not that. That time you quit the team, you stood in front of all of us, and you came back! You felt bad about that it, but that takes  _guts_ , Ennoshita. If I was you, I would've switched to baseball or something."

If Tanaka was him, he never would have quit. But Chikara doesn't say that.

"You don't give up, you know? Playing with you, it makes me want to get better," Tanaka says, and then he rubs his neck. "It was that day on the bus, but I think I might have liked you for a while."

"You don't," Chikara starts to say. "You're not  _like_  that, though. Weird, or nervous, or embarrassed, or  _blushing_. You're  _Tanaka_."

"Ennoshita, what the hell," Tanaka says, and there isn't any bite to it. "If you're just you, I'm just me, too."

Chikara doesn't answer, but.

The thing about the practice match is - true. Tanaka's shoulder was too hard, also, but it was kind of warm. That's true. About that time he quit, Chikara can't really - believe it. It's so easy to spin what Tanaka said, what happened. Like, what you did was so awful that I never would have done what you did, I never would be rude enough to fuck someone over and try to come back. But -  _that takes guts._ Chikara always feels a little bit like Tanaka's just paying him lip service (ha, lip service) when he says things like that, but he also. Kind of believes it, too.

_I don't say things I don't mean._

And it's not - like him. Talking like this. Avoiding him the way he did. But he was surprised by what  _Chikara_  said, and that thing about how Chikara's always scolding him and teasing him, and maybe.

"Fine," Chikara hears Tanaka say, and he coughs, trying to look serious as he holds back a smile. "You're  _Ennoshita._ " 

His voice is fake-deep, the way he spoke dramatic and ridiculous, and Tanaka's not even mimicking  _him._  Chikara shoves him in the stomach, but he starts laughing, too.

Tanaka joins in, cards his fingers in Chikara's hair, and pulls him into him. "You know, I thought you didn't like me. You're the worst! I thought I was gonna mess everything up, and you're just - weird."

"You did mess everything up," Chikara says, but he can feel himself smiling.

"Yeah," Tanaka agrees, "everything's awful."

And - Tanaka is stupid, and he's insensitive, and he avoids things he doesn't know how to deal with and blushes when he's embarrassed, and. He's  _Tanaka_. The guy Chikara's had a crush on for ages. And that's.

Chikara presses his lips to Tanaka's cheek, because he can, and then Tanaka tilts his chin up and kisses him for real.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! hope you guys liked it. whether or not you did, please leave a comment or tell me what you thought on [tumblr](https://spicymob.tumblr.com) if that's better for you. i'd really appreciate it! 
> 
> the concept of this fic came from that i've been reading a lot of stories lately where characters sleep together before they talk about having a relationship and i was like: i want to do that, but stupid. hope you enjoyed that. :') 
> 
> the style is also from me seeing other fic authors do it; it's really fun to write, like, conversationally. try it sometime. ;)
> 
> anyway, thanks again, and have a great day!


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